Woody Allen Quotes — Page 30

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.”

Law Done Lobster

♥ 9

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.”

New York Ballet Swans

♥ 9

Funny

“I can levitate birds. No one cares.”

Humorous Bird

♥ 9

Hopeful

“Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.”

Love Is Answers

♥ 9

Philosophical

“I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.”

Thinking Real Jobs

♥ 9

Funny

“Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.”

Thinking Men Sex

♥ 9

Melancholic

“I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.”

Mistake Today Same Mistakes

♥ 9

Funny

“When you make the film, it's like a chef who works on the meal. After you're working all day in the kitchen and dicing and cutting and putting the sauces on, you don't want to eat it. That's how I always feel about the films. I work on it for a year. I've written it, I've worked with the actors, I've edited, put the music in. I just never want to see it again.”

Years Cutting Kitchen

♥ 9

Sad

“People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.”

People Want News

♥ 9

Optimistic

“If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.”

Believe Santa Bail

♥ 9

Funny

“I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.”

Home Night Sports

♥ 9

Spiritual

“You can't work at a relationship; you can't control it. You have to be lucky and go through your life. If you are not lucky you have to be prepared for some degree of suffering. That's why most relationships are very difficult and have some degree of pain. People stay together because of inertia, they don't have the energy. Because they are frightened of being lonely, or they have children.”

Children Pain Lonely

♥ 9