Woody Allen Quotes

818 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 31 of 50

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 818 quotes · page 31 of 50

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!”

Film Censorship Lit

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Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.”

People Play Actors

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Funny

“Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!”

Marriage Cement

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Lonely

“I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.”

Kids Parent

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Funny

“How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.”

Understanding Hell Nazi

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Funny

“Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.”

School Class

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Funny

“When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.”

Funny Baseball

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Philosophical

“What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have.”

Thinking Humorous Witty

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Sad

“I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.”

Home Should Have Divorce

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Creative

“Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.”

Writing Ideas Kids

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Lonely

“Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.”

Mother Night Autumn

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Vulnerable

“See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.”

Self Women Crash

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