Woody Allen Quotes

818 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 27 of 50

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 818 quotes · page 27 of 50

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.”

Important Sense Of Humor Tenderness

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Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.”

Shapes Teeth Prophet

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Funny

“Marriage is the death of hope.”

Funny Humor

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Funny

“Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.”

Funny Names

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Grieving

“My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.”

Busy Annie Hall Cossacks

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Funny

“Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.”

Speak Hell

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Funny

“The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.”

Funny Humor

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Funny

“Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.”

Life Is Confusing Uncertain

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Philosophical

“I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.”

Believe Reality Crazy

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Funny

“Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.”

Air Standing

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Funny

“You can't ride two horses with one behind.”

Two Horse

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Hopeful

“If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.”

Sea Miracle Uncles

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