Woody Allen Quotes

818 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 26 of 50

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 818 quotes · page 26 of 50

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.”

Funny Humor Punishment

♥ 11

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Philosophical

“It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.”

Funny Science Humorous

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Funny

“Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!”

Humorous Witty

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Angry

“Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.”

Mistake Taught

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Philosophical

“As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

Nature Sarcastic Sarcasm

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Confident

“If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.”

Goal Life Is Showing Up

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Anxious

“I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.”

I Can Grows

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Anxious

“Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety”

Anxiety Bluebird

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Spiritual

“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”

Religion Atheist

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Angry

“No Matter what you do there will be critics.”

Matter Wise

♥ 10

Philosophical

“All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.”

Mean Ideas

♥ 10

Angry

“This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.”

Stuff Taste

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