George Carlin Quotes

976 quotes · Comedian, Actor

Page 25 of 50

George Carlin Quotes

All Funny Angry Philosophical Spiritual Creative 976 quotes · page 25 of 50

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Funny

“As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.”

Humorous Rivers Swim

♥ 13

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Angry

“Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.”

World Morning Doctors

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Melancholic

“The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.”

Rain Humorous

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Funny

“That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.”

Trying Stuff

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Philosophical

“With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet.”

Feminist Abortion Chickens

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Funny

“The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.”

Men Crazy

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Angry

“I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.”

Humanity Crime

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Courageous

“This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal.”

Men Country Psychics

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Motivated

“The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it”

Secret Wells Something You Love

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Angry

“Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.”

Giving Ideas Choices

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Funny

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.”

People Sleep Gone

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Angry

“The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.”

Children Humor Breakfast

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