George Carlin Quotes

976 quotes · Comedian, Actor

Page 26 of 50

George Carlin Quotes

All Funny Angry Philosophical Spiritual Creative 976 quotes · page 26 of 50

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Lonely

“You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.”

People Years Past

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George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Angry

“You don’t see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uterus’s, do you? No, you don’t see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do.”

White Baby Volunteer

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Courageous

“Religion is just mind control.”

Mind Funny

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Funny

“Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.”

Stories Bullshit

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Philosophical

“The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the intellect.”

Thinking Ideas Limits

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Funny

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

Children Inspirational Family

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Funny

“Life is a series of dogs.”

Dog Life Is

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Funny

“I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak.”

People Fun

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Philosophical

“I think religion is very anti-man. I think it's a terrible distortion and exploitation of a very natural urge every human has - to be rejoined with the one somehow, to become a part of the universe. Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.”

Thinking Men Natural

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Funny

“hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.”

Long Effort Hard Work

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Funny

“Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.”

World Comedy Upside Down

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Funny

“We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing”

Sarcastic Thanksgiving Sarcasm

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