Woody Allen Quotes

818 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 23 of 50

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 818 quotes · page 23 of 50

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

“Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.”

Years Play Music

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Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Philosophical

“The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?”

Done Philosophy Soup

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Love

“If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.”

Brain Homework Neurons

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Creative

“I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.”

Guy Evening Annie Hall

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Funny

“My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.”

Food Cooking Funeral

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Philosophical

“The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.”

People Silly Awards

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Love

“The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.”

Heart Love Fall

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Funny

“Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.”

Funny Sex Humor

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Funny

“Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.”

Believe Mother Meat

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Funny

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”

Girl Religious Witty

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Funny

“When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.”

Funny Sex Humor

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Funny

“My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign”

Inspiration Wife Benign

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