Woody Allen Quotes

818 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 21 of 50

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 818 quotes · page 21 of 50

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.”

Thinking Water Divorce

♥ 14

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”

Funny Humor Food

♥ 14

Melancholic

“The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”

Years Lasts

♥ 14

Funny

“Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.”

Honey Spiders

♥ 14

Thoughtful

“I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.”

Trying Wall Reminiscing

♥ 14

Angry

“We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.”

Funny Wall Humor

♥ 13

Funny

“The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”

Food Terrible

♥ 14

Lonely

“I am an only child. I have one sister.”

Children Funny

♥ 14

Determined

“If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.”

Trying Failure

♥ 14

Love

“You use sex to express every emotion except love.”

Use Sex

♥ 14

Funny

“The best things in life are censored.”

Things In Life Best Things

♥ 13

Angry

“A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.”

People Gone

♥ 13