Demetri Martin Quotes

494 quotes · Comedian, Actor

Page 19 of 42

Demetri Martin Quotes

All Funny Creative Love Nostalgic Hopeful 494 quotes · page 19 of 42

Comedian, Actor

Creative

“I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.”

Opposites Primal Unicycles

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Demetri Martin

Comedian, Actor

Funny

“I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.”

Funny Birthday Christmas

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Funny

“A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.”

People Looks

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Funny

“There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.”

Team Vertical

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Funny

“Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.”

Way Beard Velcro

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Funny

“Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.”

World Wonderful

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Funny

“A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.”

Inspirational Dream

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Creative

“I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".”

Together Brain Say Anything

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Determined

“I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.”

Thinking Desire Insane

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Funny

“Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.”

Laughing Bird Jealous

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Funny

“Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.”

Rooms Heckling Ratchets

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Funny

“Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.”

Suicide Bridges Killers

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