Woody Allen — Funny Quotes

246 quotes · Director, Actor, Writer

Page 11 of 21

Woody Allen Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Love Spiritual 246 quotes · page 11 of 21

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.”

Philosophy Laughing Missing

♥ 10

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Funny

“Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.”

Political Taken Serious

♥ 10

Funny

“You can't ride two horses with one behind.”

Two Horse

♥ 10

Funny

“The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.”

Liberty Humorous

♥ 10

Funny

“I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.”

Art Song Morning

♥ 10

Funny

“There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.”

Way Justice Structure

♥ 10

Funny

“When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.”

Mistake Doctors

♥ 10

Funny

“It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.”

Love Angel

♥ 10

Funny

“By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.”

Mistake Simple Heuristics

♥ 10

Funny

“I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.”

Mother Father Attitude

♥ 9

Funny

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”

Inspirational Funny

♥ 10

Funny

“There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.”

Reason Seems

♥ 9