Terry Pratchett — Funny Quotes

514 quotes · Author

Page 28 of 43

Terry Pratchett Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Creative Wise 514 quotes · page 28 of 43

Terry Pratchett

Author

Funny

“And gears," said Anathema. "My bike didn't have gears. I'm sure my bike didn't have gears." Crowley leaned over to the angel. "Oh lord, heal this bike," he whispered sarcastically. "I'm sorry, I just got carried away," hissed Aziraphale.”

Angel Sorry Gears

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Terry Pratchett

Author

Funny

“IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. "You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?" YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.”

Mean Knowing Expression

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Funny

“WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW?”

Cows

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Funny

“That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic!”

Doe Magic

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Funny

“It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.”

Said Safe Meant To Be

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Funny

“Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.”

Way Kind

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Funny

“Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.”

Sticks Noses

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Funny

“I know it’s not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!" "My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow…" "Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!”

Men Mother Horse

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Funny

“It as true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well know fact. ... Besides, almost all dogs don't talk. Ones that do are merely a statistical error, and can therefore be ignored.”

People Dog Errors

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Funny

“And that's what I don't like about magic, Captain. 'cos it's *magic*. You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic!”

Doe Magic Captains

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Funny

“Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.”

Men Games Fate

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Funny

“only to people!' shouted Rincewind. He drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.”

People Smooth Troll

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