Terry Pratchett Funny Quotes — Page 27

Author

Funny

“Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.”

Dream Inspiration Communication

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Terry Pratchett

Author

Funny

“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”

People House Blessing

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Funny

“You get all sorts of people in the library, and the librarian gets it all.”

People Library

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Funny

“My programming language was solder.”

Language Programming

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Funny

“It's tough at the top. It's tough at the bottom. But in between you could use them for horse-shoes.”

Success Happiness Horse

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Funny

“He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.”

Rose Lace Elba

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Funny

“One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.”

One Day Trouble

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Funny

“We live in a science fiction universe. We have done for a long time.”

Long Done

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Funny

“'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.”

Interesting Serious Ridiculous

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Funny

“WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said. Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.”

Men Heart Truth

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Funny

“She folded her arms and then shouted, "Right you thieving scunners! How dare you steal Miss Treason's funeral meats!" "Oh, waily, waily, it's the foldin' o' the arms, the foooldin' o' the aaaarmss!" cried Daft Wullie, dropping to the ground and trying to cover himself with leaves. Around him Feegles started to wail and cower and Big Yan began to bang his head on the rear wall of the dairy.”

Wall Missing Funeral

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Funny

“Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder. So let's just say that Ankh-Morpork is as full of life as an old cheese on a hot day, as loud as a curse in a cathedral, as bright as an oil slick, as colourful as a bruise and as full of activity, industry, bustle and sheer exuberant busyness as a dead dog on a termite mound.”

Cities Dog Oil

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Terry Pratchett — Funny Quotes

Terry Pratchett Quotes