Terry Pratchett Funny Quotes — Page 18

Author

Funny

“Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.”

Doors Lakes Next Day

♥ 5

Terry Pratchett

Author

Funny

“People who used magic without knowing what they were doing usually came to a sticky end. All over the entire room, sometimes.”

People Knowing Magic

♥ 5

Funny

“He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

Depth Pavement

♥ 5

Funny

“If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.”

Taste Salt

♥ 5

Funny

“It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed,' although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.”

Book Would Be Library

♥ 5

Funny

“No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].”

Hair Garden Ties

♥ 5

Funny

“Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?”

Thinking Religion

♥ 5

Funny

“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.”

People Believe

♥ 5

Funny

“Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available.”

Book Trying Interesting

♥ 5

Funny

“Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know.”

Running School Triangles

♥ 5

Funny

“We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience”

Discworld

♥ 5

Funny

“The significant owl hoots in the night.”

Night Significant

♥ 5

Terry Pratchett — Funny Quotes

Terry Pratchett Quotes