Sarcastic Quotes

907 quotes · 501 authors Page 28 of 50

All moods Philosophical Creative Funny Angry Spiritual Courageous 907 quotes · page 28 of 50

Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

“I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.”

Inspiration Sea Sarcastic

♥ 7

Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

“In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.”

Real Jobs Sarcastic

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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Poet, Playwright, Novelist

“We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.”

Funny Teaching

♥ 7

John Steinbeck

Novelist, Journalist

“He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.”

Ideas Stupid

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HJ

Author

“He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease.”

Sarcastic Grease Sausage

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Johnny Carson

Television Host

“He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.”

Running Sarcastic

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Kin Hubbard

Cartoonist, Humorist

“Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.”

Book Funny

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Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

“His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.”

Ignorance Sarcastic Intelligence

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Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

“I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.”

Funny Suicide Sarcastic

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Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway

Novelist

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

Music Clever

♥ 6

EM

Eugene McCarthy

Politician

“I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.”

Want Sarcastic

♥ 6

Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

“Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.”

Advice Sarcastic Somewhere Else

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