Quotes for When You Feel Funny

103.5K quotes for this mood Page 28 of 50

All topics People Thinking Men Believe Writing Mean 103.5K quotes · page 28 of 50

John Wayne

Actor, Director

“A friend of mine told me to shoot first and ask questions later. I was going to ask him why, but I had to shoot him.”

Firsts Asks Mines

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Steven Wright

Comedian

“I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.”

Self Opportunity Work

♥ 130

Sigmund Freud

Neurologist, Psychoanalyst

“If it's not one thing, it's your mother.”

Mother Psychology

♥ 130

Robert A. Heinlein

Science Fiction Author

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”

Stupid Silly

♥ 130

Demetri Martin

Comedian, Actor

“I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.”

Looks Dark Sunglasses

♥ 130

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Writer

“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”

Inspirational Funny

♥ 130

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”

Inspirational Funny

♥ 130

Che Guevara

Revolutionary, Guerrilla Leader

“To execute a man we don't need proof of his guilt. We only need proof that it's necessary to execute him. It's that simple.”

Men Simple Guilt

♥ 127

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.”

Rain Smile Keep Smiling

♥ 130

Immanuel Kant

Philosopher

“Give a man everything he wants and at that moment everything is not everything”

Men Want

♥ 129

Jorge Luis Borges

Writer, Poet

“Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.”

Inspirational Leadership

♥ 128

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Socialite

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

Funny Nice Witty

♥ 127