Mark Twain — Funny Quotes

743 quotes · Writer, Humorist

Page 31 of 50

Mark Twain Quotes

All Funny Philosophical Angry Wise Grateful 743 quotes · page 31 of 50

Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

Funny

“I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.”

Funny Suicide Sarcastic

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Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist

Funny

“As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.”

Feelings Boys Teeth

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Funny

“It is your human environment that makes climate”

People Humanity

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Funny

“When you catch an adjective, kill it.”

Writing Editing

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Funny

“I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.”

Art Horse Ordinary

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Funny

“Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.”

Philosophy Humor Laughter

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Funny

“By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.”

Funny Humorous

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Funny

“Children and fools always speak the truth”

Children Speak

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Funny

“It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.”

Ideas Young Breaking Rules

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Funny

“One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.”

Wine Red Bottles

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Funny

“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.”

Country Summer Winter

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Funny

“Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.”

Thinking Voice God

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