George Carlin Quotes

976 quotes · Comedian, Actor

Page 31 of 50

George Carlin Quotes

All Funny Angry Philosophical Spiritual Creative 976 quotes · page 31 of 50

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Funny

“The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!”

Band Sake Radio

♥ 10

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

Funny

“Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality to it, but a joke is about surprising someone. I'm a great believer in context. You can joke about anything. I do like finding out where the line is drawn, deliberately crossing it and bringing some of them with me across the line, and having them be happy that I did.”

People Different Quality

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Funny

“And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.”

Food Cooking Culinary

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Funny

“I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.”

Hate Feelings

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Funny

“It's never just a game when you're winning.”

Funny Witty

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Angry

“There is a certain amount of righteous indignation I hold for the American culture, because to get back to the real root of it, to get broader about it, my opinion that is my species - and my culture in America specifically - have let me down and betrayed me. I think this species had great, great promise, with this great upper brain that we have, and I think we squandered it on God and Mammon. And I think this culture of ours has such promise, with the promise of real, true freedom, and then everyone has been shackled by ownership and possessions and acquisition and status and power.”

Thinking Real Brain

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Angry

“Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, "Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing?" It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.”

Men Children Cases

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Funny

“Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.”

People Writing Art

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Angry

“And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say "Jesus made me drop the ball." "The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage." According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. Must be another one of those "miracles."”

Christian Jesus Philosophy

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Creative

“Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)”

Doors Perception Hallucinogens

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Funny

“If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.”

People Water Monsters

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Confident

“There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.”

People Two Environment

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